What’s your particular addiction at Starbucks? Do you wish you could just point and grunt because your drink order sounds so fricken gay spoken outloud?
“triple grande sugar-free cinnamon hazelnut half-fat two-splenda cappucinio”
I know it is ridiculous to pay nearly five bucks for a cuppa mediocore joe at a pretentious fast-food joint where “tall” means “small”. My heart truly is heavy for the spoken word artists who are being forced out into the elements because The Corporation has no soul. But really… who needs beatnik ambiance in the A.M.? A fat Daddy rolls up for the mofuken CAFFEINE. I am *addicted*, gotdammit, and chemical jonesin’ craves consistency.
Anyways, if you have no idea who you are, you can enter your usual Starbucks drink order into this widget and the Starbucks Oracle will decipher your complex personality for you. Behold, the Oracle said that I am high maintenance and my friends find me intolerable. That brightened my day. 
Thankfully, I don’t have a Starbucks addiction, don’t drink coffee at all! But if I did, I would be addicted to Tim Horton’s, Canada’s much better alternative to Starbuck’s. All our visitor’s love Tim’s!
Dood, and you used to be such a patriot!
“Most people who drink grande caramel macchiato are strippers.”
Who knew?
:P