CAN YOU SING THE BLUES?
Answer “Yes” if:
a. Your first name is a southern state -— like Georgia, or the name of a US president.
b. You have a physical infirmity that includes: blind, crippled, or asthmatic.
c. You shot a man in Memphis.
d. You can’t be satisfied.
e. You’re older than dirt — teenagers are not ‘fixin to die’ yet.
Answer “No” if:
a. You once were blind but now can see.
b. You’re deaf.
c. The man in Memphis lived.
d. You travel in an SUV instead of a Chevy, Cadillac, broken-down truck, Greyhound bus, or southbound train.
e. You are a singer with the name Muffy, Sierra, Auburn, Alexis, Gwenyth, Sequoiz, Brittany or Rainbow — no matter how many men you shoot in Memphis.
The best places to have the blues are Kansas City, Dallas, Memphis, Chicago, St. Louis, and New York City - but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont, Tucson, Conneticut or North Dakota are simply depression. You can’t have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is just plain wrong.
Most Blues begin with ‘woke up this morning.’
After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.
‘I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
She got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weighs 500 pounds.’
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