DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?
The holidaze were downright pleasant here at the Love Shack.
Some members of our chosen fambly arrived to proclaim the Eve of Christmas and Hannuka. LaWheeze wore her fuzzy pink sweater (the one Fisto sewed that makes her look like a fat cotton candy sheep) and of course we all donned our gay apparel. (Cuz …we are gay.) Miz Chris slipped stylish potholders on her manicured hands and revealed the magical glory of enchiladas. We ate, drank and proceeded to carry on with the merry. We took turns hammering some metal riffs on my plastic guitar Playstation game (as I channeled Jimi from on high.) Here we came a-wassailing over a fierce-ass, throw-down game of Cranium. Relationships was destroyed. Chairs was broke. Lawd. Chocolate was eaten with a vengeance! (The Femmes cheated as usual, gawd love em — wouldn’t be a merry nuthin had they lost.) To close the evening, the always elegant Miss Slips scooted around on my rug with a lil number about lighting the menorah and dancing the hora. (Some of the holy words slipped her mind, but she was obviously overcome by joyful thoughts of the latkes forthcoming.)
Christmas morning(ish) on the day of our Lord, a whooping rally cry pierced the ears of the almightee! (You know how she do.) In a fierce blitzkrieg never before witnessed by god-fearing peoples of these lands, blazing Babygrrl flew straight on into a present-flying-frenzy …. lacerating all festive wrapping paper in sight and shredding up a mess of pretty bows — quick as goverment cheese on a grater. Just flat tore em up is all. Even before we cut on the Christmas tree lights! (Seems since Santa Claus done delivered, that girl has taken to actin’ like she got no raising.) And we had more homo fambly over so we could exhalt the gift ante exponentially. 
Christine’s friend Michael (bless his heart) presented her with a divine LIGHTBULB. An extraordinary proclamation of advanced technology was boldly emblazoned across on the heavy-duty shrinkwrap… letting allllll whom this light shed upon know it shall save us from the darkness for *seven years*. Yes, it was surely a Christmas miracle down at the Love Shack! As you imagine, Miz Chris was speechless, overcome with a certain sentiment that could never be expressed by merely bumping her gums in appreciation.
Come afternoon, we had a most excellent traditional dinner, wonderful company, and lively conversation (til the time-honored turkey trance put us all in a stupor.) Miz Chris came down the bird dizzies and damn near tripped over a cordless phone. Gee blinked reeeeeaaaaal ssslooooow in the middle of discussing rococo, and was caught “restin’ her eyes”. Mikey looked like he got runned over by a reindeer, and suddenly Daddy had a whole head fulla simple. Once my eyes opened from a long winter’s nap, doncha know my gotdamn clothes was outta style? Slips was jes fine cuz she’s vegetarian, workin’ that eggnog like she do.
We were blessed with a very enjoyable weekend. 
We had all of our faraway friends in our hearts and I hope everyone we love also had glad tidings this holiday.
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