Pulling three espresso shots is the most I can do to will night hours into morning. Once my brain blinks from idle sleep to cerebral imagery, it is futile to pretend I won’t be nagged from my bed at some crazy hour! The older I get however, the more I treasure watching the sky turn peach at sunrise, especially since fall has finally tiptoed in so quietly on cozy little cat paws. I feel most lucid while the rest of the world sleeps.

This morning I remembered a time when Chris and I first embraced the fact that we had indeed fallen into a ferocious love. We sat silently across from each other and sketched our goals for the next year, five years, and 10 years. Well, that was almost a decade ago. As raw, wandering and moonstruck as all 40 of my years have been, how soothing to confront those forgotten old notes, realizing somehow I rarely wavered. I exist in the immediacy of life’s rich colors, metaphoric ironies, sweet pangs of fugitive love, and polished luster of love eternal. This is why it came as such a surprise to recognize on paper an adventure I have dreamt and also lived. Yes, another consistency is that I feel much too deeply and I probably always will, but so far I have survived it.

I never considered neither the gift nor the dare of another ten years. I realized this morning I should probably sketch a new blueprint, if only to discover when I am older that my rambling rhapsody was concerted all along.

Posted by Daddy Rhon on Monday, October 24th, 2005 at 2:46 pm.